Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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