wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
