Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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