one might say we're banned from that church
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
