I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
