I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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