i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
