My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
