So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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