See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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