he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
