They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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