Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
