I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
