at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
