Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
