Nicole vs. Life
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
