I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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