Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
