There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
