Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
