Will you blow on my dice?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
