I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
