Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
