i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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