I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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