Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
