I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We have so much sex to catch up on
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
