So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
