$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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