Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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