Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
