DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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