Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
