His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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