Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
