she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
