I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
