She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize
