How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We need a shit load of segways right now
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
