its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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