So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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