official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
