I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
