You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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