Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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