I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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