I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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