So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
