How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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