I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
